How to Message Him or Her: 3 Tips


It can be scary trying to think of the best message to send to someone who catches your eye online. What do you say? How do you come across as interesting without seeming "cheesy"? These are generally the same issues we face when meeting someone in person, so you actually have an advantage online - you get to think about it first and they don't have to see how embarassed you look!


Although breaking the ic e can seem scary I'm here to show you what to do and why you need not worry. There are three main things I will talk about:

  1. Grab their attention
  2. Be honest
  3. Be upbeat

A good way to grab someone's attention is to write something that they don't read in every message. For example everybody writes "Hey" to start their message. Men generally follow that "Hey" with something about physical appearance. This is unoriginal and you won't grab someone's attention unless you are original. A good way to stand out is to write about their interests. However, don't just say "I like books too". Try to actually engage the person you are speaking to. "I see your favorite author is ________, have you read the latest best seller?" is far more conducive to conversation.


Honesty is the key to healthy communication and healthy communication is the key to a relationship. This being the case, it leads us to realize that you should be honest with someone from the very beginning - even in your icebreaker message. Don't be affraid to tell someone what you like about them and also don't be affraid to say that you aren't interested. This also ties into being upbeat and positive about things. People fear being "rejected" and they don't like to be the ones "rejecting". However, so called "rejection" is actually a great, healthy thing. Getting "rejected" is a quick, efficent, and effective way to find out that someone isn't right for you. Would you rather find that out now or later on down the road? Similarly, it is not healthy to lead somone on that you aren't interested in.


There you have it. These are three simple tips to keep in mind when you want to send your icebreaker message online.

Until next time...